Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My life is pants optional.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
