she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
