Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
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I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
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I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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