She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
