I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
