Nicole vs. Life
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
