Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
