it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
