Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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