dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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