Moan for me like Helen Keller
a search helicopter?!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
