I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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