anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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