Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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