at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
