Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I could fuck to npr.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
