I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I had to cum in my sink.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
