I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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