I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
