She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
