actually, I'm a sock model
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
