Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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