C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
