you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
