I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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