Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
