If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
