Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
