My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
pop tarts are not kleenex
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
