He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize