so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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