I just saw a hot homeless man
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
