Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i think i have two assholes
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
