the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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