ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
