turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
