Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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