He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Barsexuality is the new black.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We have started to decorate penises.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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