you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize