He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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