ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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