new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
