Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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