i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
