If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
