I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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