I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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