either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i think i have herpe
just one?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
