physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize