i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
