My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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