This is not my ceiling
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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