Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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