dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I came so hard my ears popped.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
