i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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