More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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