break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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