At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
This toilet bowl is my home.
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