My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I cannot find my penis.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
